Sarah: "Counselling saved my life"
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, so my mental health needs are pretty complex. After years and years of not having the correct help and support, I found Lydia. Before, I didn't really understand why I was feeling the way I was; my moods were so up and down for no real reason. Lydia has helped me to understand my struggles and how what I have been through has had a major impact on my life. Having her support on a weekly basis keeps me above water. I think having a set session each week gives me something to focus on and aim towards. I still have a long way to go, but with her help, constant support and dedication I will get there. Each small step is a step closer to happiness and a better quality of life. If anyone is thinking about having counselling, I would highly recommend it. I haven't looked back since going privately. Lydia has saved my life!
If you resonate with Sarah's story and are looking for support, know that help is out there. If you’re ready, you can start your therapy journey by simply contacting progressiveprocess@live.com.au or by clicking here.
Emily: The light-bulb moment that changed my life
People talk about having a 'light-bulb moment'. A moment when something switches on in your mind, a torch is shone in front of you and for years you haven't been able to make out the reality, until now.
I was 32 weeks pregnant with our now beautiful daughter, whilst on holiday with my husband and our sprightly two year old son. Although I loved my family dearly, I hadn't realised that I had been feeling quite so depressed throughout my pregnancy (and probably sometime before) due to the stress brought on by a significant relationship in my life.
I felt exhausted, defensive and most days if I’m honest I didn't like the idea of getting out of bed and starting the day.
Then the message came through. Let's just say if you've ever been in a relationship that makes you feel guilt, shame, small, or anything similar then you'll understand. It was the same old stuff, trying to pile all their anger onto me.Bing! Light-bulb. For the first time I said "It's not going to change is it? No matter what I say it's not going to be good enough. So if it's not good enough then does it matter what I say, and if it doesn't matter what I say then I could say anything, I could say whatever I want". In this moment I realised that if nothing I did was going to make a difference then maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with me after all, and I was actually, okay. Wow there's nothing wrong with me. I repeated this several times, this was a revelation. Finally I could see that I could step away and separate from the pain, from the negative energy surrounding this relationship. This had really always been my daily internal story, I am not good enough.
Through the following year I made a lot of small decisions to change this energy and focus on what I wanted and needed for me and my family. I went back into counselling and with a purpose this time, although I have to stress that you don't need a purpose to start counselling, this was naturally the next step for me after having been through several years of it in the past and through my counselling training. I started searching for a better understanding of myself, now I knew I was enough I never wanted to allow myself to feel anything less than that.
I worked with a fantastic counsellor, who happened to ask me this directly, “What do you want?” Pause, this is a lot more difficult to answer than you think! After a while I found the courage to work through my words and come up with what I really needed in my life, what was really important. She then asked me “And what’s stopping you?” Now if you’re really honest with yourself right now, what do you think the answer was to that? Nothing at all. Opening myself up to the possibility that I was in control of my life, I was enough and I had the power to choose, released this ability in me to achieve. My confidence started building, something I had so evidently lacked all my life. I could now trust who I was and that I was able to live the life I wanted. I started listening and looking out for signs and followed my intuition when I met people and things fell into place naturally. This led me to find the world of reiki and I started my personal journey of self-healing and my dream of starting my own business to help and support others in their own lives.
Depression to me was a vicious cycle and depression when pregnant can bring with it its own fears of ability and not being good enough. The turning point is realising that you are enough and you can break that chain.
I feel proud to share my story and I hope it encourages others to feel that they are not alone and they too, can open up. I have worked really hard to understand why things have been and how I can help myself in the future. However I can’t really write this without saying thank you to my husband Rob who has always seen me as good enough, and although it took me a while to see it myself I may not have been able to, when I did, if it wasn’t for his unwavering acceptance of me and who I am.If you resonate with Emily’s story and are looking for support, know that help is out there. If you’re ready, you can start your therapy journey by simply contacting progressiveprocess@live.com.au or by clicking here.
Tamara: "I became afraid of my own mind."
I have lived with severe depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. My therapist, Lidia says that while some it could be hereditary, a lot of it can be learned behaviour also.
When I was 10 years old my mum had a complete breakdown. She wouldn’t get out of bed, she wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t talk. All she did was cry. I remember how skinny she got. It was so frightening to see my curvaceous mother become unrecognisable.
Some people said that she was a 'worrier'. Others weren’t so nice and just called her plain crazy. As I've been struggling with this exact same illness as an adult, I have done a lot of reflecting and realised that, for as long as I can remember, I've been this way also. I would worry about the strangest things and play these catastrophic scenes out in my mind over and over again. When I was younger I was really good at hiding it but, as I got older, one day I just broke.
It was a particularly stressful day with my kids and husband and I had a full blown panic attack that scared me so badly I had to go to A&E. My heart rate was so high, I thought I was having a heart attack. The doctor explained to me what was going on and told me to see my GP the next day, who diagnosed me. I then got put on medication which has helped but I still struggle every single day.
For a long time, I was self-medicating because I had finally found a way to make myself feel better. I was trying to get through each day being as happy and productive as I could on the surface, instead of the sad, lonely world of constant worry and angst that was happening inside. It's something I still struggle with now.
I’ve always had thoughts of suicide but in recent years they became more like actual plans because I was so tired of struggling and being afraid of my own mind.
I know people say it's selfish because I have kids and a family who loves me but, when someone is thinking about taking their own life, they are not being selfish or wanting attention. They want the pain to go away.
They honestly feel that their world, their family and friends would be better off without them. They feel like this huge burden or parasite because people do not understand what it feels like.
How could it be that bad, when someone is pretty, has a nice house and kids and a husband? What they don’t know is our minds are like minefields and it can be so exhausting and frustrating for our families - especially the kids. I wish someone would have explained that to me when I was younger. I would have had a lot more empathy for my mum because since therapy I know now how much of a toll this illness takes, not only mentally, but physically it completely wears you down, too.
If you resonate with Tamara’s story and are looking for support, know that help is out there. If you’re ready, you can start your therapy journey by simply contacting progressiveprocess@live.com.au or by clicking here.