Jake: "I attempted suicide dozens of times."
I recently came out of a bout of depression that lasted approximately four months. It all started from a simple negative thought about myself, which spiralled out of control and transformed into a whirlwind of misery and despair. I lost my girlfriend, many friends, and my own, old regular self because of it.
I ended up self harming (slashing my arms and punching walls) and going on to attempt suicide dozens of times. I got help from Lydia and my local youth support service, and CAMHS and now I'm back to my old self again. And I couldn't be happier!
The most important thing to take from this story of mine is that you can find happiness too.
If you are depressed, anxious, or feeling as if you're slipping into either of them, remember that you are not alone and you will always have support. I know myself it's easier said than done, but please contact an Existential professional and seek advice and support from CAMHS if you haven't already.
It may be nerve-wracking at first, but those feelings will pass and you will become so much better from doing it. In addition, never beat yourself up about the way you're feeling. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain and cannot be controlled when it's off the rails without support from a professional.
So don't think that it's all down to you to sort yourself out. I hope this story has helped you in some way and that you'll be soon on the road to recovery - I care about each and every one of you (even though I don't know you personally). Good luck! Jake
If you resonate with Jake's story and are looking for support, know that help is out there. If you’re ready, you can start your therapy journey by simply contacting progressiveprocess@live.com.au or by clicking here.
Charlotte: “I’m a survivor and I will continue to survive every day.”
When I was 14, I really learnt what it was like to be depressed. I didn’t understand it, but I felt it. It lead to a year full of substance abuse and self harm. It was the start of a spiral that I was heading down.
By the time I was 18, I had developed the unhealthy coping mechanisms of sex and drama. I would play with people’s feelings to make myself feel wanted and needed. I liked the attention; I was always unpopular at school, so when I had all these friends and possible suitors, it went to my head. Things got even worse when my father died by suicide, not long after I ended a relationship with someone I really loved.
I no longer felt human. I had lost the two most important people in my life. I became disassociated. I felt like I was watching my life, but I was not in control. I was a passenger in my own body. At this point, I had attempted suicide a few times myself, with the most recent attempt landing me in hospital.
But, I am proud to say that, now at 22, I have not self-harmed in over a year. And I haven’t tried to take my own life since the attempt that landed me in hospital.
I barely drink or smoke. I am married, with a cat and a dog who I love so much, all in our little home. I spend my days writing and advocating for mental health and suicide awareness, alongside Counselling.
I still cannot work an actual job without triggering a lot of negative feelings, but, considering there was a time I spent over two months not leaving the house or even my bed, I’ve come so far. I know that this year, I’m going to make new milestones with my mental health, just like so many others will.
I’ve been through unspeakable things, living in the darkest pits of my mind. But I've made it. I’m a survivor and I will continue to survive every day.
How did I do it, you may ask?
First, I admitted to myself that I was not really living. I was determined to get better, I wanted to get better.
Second, I was honest with myself and those around me. I was no longer hiding my mental health.
Third, I went to a GP and asked to change medication. It took me three attempts to find the medication that worked for me.
Fourth, I didn’t give up and I allowed myself to have bad days. Some days you won’t be able to get out of bed, and that’s OK. What matters is that you keep trying.
Fifth, I started to write. It helped me to get my words onto paper, it dragged them out of my head and it made it a lot easier for me to make sense of what was going on in my mind. Writing is extremely therapeutic and, although I am not the most literate, it has not stopped me from self-publishing two eBooks and working on publishing a third.
Sixth, I’m learning the importance of learning from therapy how to say “no”. I was a doormat for most of my life, which lead to some very scarring events. I always put others first, even if it hurt me. Now I know that I can say “no” and not need to give an explanation. I allow myself to be selfish but not in the way that hurts others.
If you resonate with Charlotte’s story and are looking for support, know that help is out there. If you’re ready, you can start your therapy journey by simply contacting progressiveprocess@live.com.au or by clicking here.